I spent most of yesterday afternoon trying to set up a website to promote myself as a freelance writer. Unfortunately, I didn’t get very far. I tried a couple of website builder programs, but both of them were too complicated, and I couldn’t get the web pages to look how I wanted them to look. I’m going to spend some more time working on it today, and continue writing in my book.
John and I went to the gym last night. I heard some of the things they were saying to me. Usually, if I don’t write down what I hear, I will forget what the voices say. Both my therapist and John have said not to focus on what they say anymore. Focusing on what the voices say, and trying to make sense of it is another way of giving them power. I don’t want to do that, because it makes things worse. I end up worrying, and getting distracted from other activities that I should be focusing on instead, like writing. I’ve also noticed that what the voices say doesn’t change that much. They tend to say the same things, and focus on the same issues: chanting, my book, the lawsuits they’ve filed, and who they are going to kill if I don’t make an agreement with them. I’ve come to the conclusion that thinking about what they say, responding to them in my head, and listening to them isn’t worth my time and energy. I constantly focus on what I’m doing, and my own thoughts, rather than what I hear the voices say. My days go much better this way.
John and I may drive to Irvine to visit his brother for Thanksgiving. We haven’t decided yet, but if we do, it will be late Wednesday night or early Thursday morning. John’s parents and his other brother are going also, so it should be a fun trip!