After feeling angry and somewhat despondent over the past few weeks, I’m making an effort to get back on track. I’ll start posting to my blog again once a week on Wednesdays, but I’ve decided to cancel my monthly newsletter. It takes too much time and it’s just as easy to write up the same information in a blog post. In order to start refreshed and on a positive note, I found a quote from SGI President Daisaku Ikeda from March 3rd in Buddhism Day by Day.
It all comes down to you. I hope you won’t rely on others or wait for them to do something. Try to develop such a strong sense of responsibility that you can stand up to the fiercest storms, confidently proclaiming, “I’ll do it. Just watch me!” Please confront reality, look it squarely in the face, and with guts, wisdom and strength, challenge everything that lies ahead of you.
This is a great quote, but it isn’t easy to do. It takes courage to take responsibility for our own happiness and our own problems. It takes courage not to blame other people. I am determined to do everything in my power to succeed at resolving my problems and become a successful writer. I have rarely left anything up to others, except when I had no choice. If it was up to me, I would take care of everything myself.
It is important to stay positive, and my Buddhist practice is crucial in this regard. Even so, I still get angry when I believe there is injustice. Injustice in society does not resolve itself, we must fight for justice. I chant and pray every day for my own happiness and for justice. I keep fighting.
“The voice does the Buddha’s work.” – On Practicing the Buddha’s Teachings
“When a lion roars all the other beasts are silenced.” – The One-Eyed Turtle and the Floating Log
Kosen-rufu is a struggle of words. It was so in Nichiren Daishonin’s time; it is so today and will remain so into the eternal future. That’s why our voices are important; they are our weapon, our ammunition. If we keep proclaiming the truth, our words are certain to touch the hearts of those to whom we talk. If we continue to speak out for justice, we will be able to defeat wrongdoing and injustice. An earnest voice, an impassioned voice will reach and move people’s hearts.
SGI President Ikeda Mar 2014 Living Buddhism
Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism does not teach passivity. We are not taught to sit idly by and ignore the wrongs and injustices in our society. Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism teaches the exact opposite. We must stand up and speak out for what is right, and not allow those with malicious intent to take advantage or deceive us.
Today is March 17, 2014. The man who continues to stalk, harass, scream and yell at me (I will call him Loach) is still around my mobile home park. He screams, “We’re tired of doing this!” or “We’re not giving up on this!” and other nonsensical, meaningless statements at the top of his lungs. I have no idea what is real name is, if I did, I would have filed either a lawsuit or at the very least a restraining order (with miles and miles of distance between us) years ago. As it stands currently, the people with this information refuse to share it with me and, as far as I can tell, have directed everyone else to do the same.
Is there something wrong with this situation? Why would anyone with legitimate information about this person (Loach) willfully keep it from me? According to my calculations, Loach has been in my life since late 2009 or early 2010, and has always exhibited this type of deranged behavior. For those who are not familiar with this situation, he is usually accompanied by a few other women (I’m assuming drug addicts, whores, prostitutes) and generally another male. I know this because I can hear them.
Since this small group of people follow me everywhere I go (Safeway, Target, Pet Smart, 24 Hour Fitness, etc…) and tend to harass the employees of these stores, as well as scream and yell from the parking lot, many other people are aware of this situation. Lawsuits have already been filed, although I was excluded from participating. Apparently, every major retail outlet in the San Jose area filed suit against either Loach himself, or the people who were/are in charge of the investigation and/or trial. As my in-laws live in Gilroy and I often visit them with my husband, the cities of Gilroy and Morgan Hill were affected and also filed suit. To no avail.
I ask this question again, isn’t there something wrong with this situation? Why would the people investigating Loach, his affiliation with the Mafia, Preston Scott, and who ever else is involved, purposefully exclude me from their investigation and refuse to give me any information that would actually help me rid my life of these degenerate people? The people in charge obviously haven’t accomplished anything since they began their “work” because Loach is still here. Over the years I have speculated on this and come up with only a few plausible reasons, all of which are invalid. They amount to no more than excuses or lies or both.
(1) I was not included in this investigation for my own safety. The threat of Loach, the Mafia, etc… was too great; I might be killed, my husband might be killed, or someone else in my family would be put in danger.
This is not a valid reason because I and my family lived with the constant presence of Loach and the Mafia for several years before anyone appeared to look into this matter. If the Mafia had wanted me dead, they had many, many years to kill me (since 2002). This also holds true for my husband and for my family. For all the efforts of the CIA and/or other government people that were sent to take care of this and ostensibly protect me, the Mafia [who appeared in Sunnyvale due to this trial over the past year or so], made numerous attempts to murder me anyway. I managed to avoid their attempts with the help of my dog, my Buddhist practice, and my own wits. The reason I am alive today is NOT due in any way to the protection of a cowardly group of government employees who lie repeatedly and attempt to bury the truth. As “classified” as this matter is, the designation appears to be nothing more than a miserable attempt to hide the incompetence and corruption of the CIA official(s) involved (who I believe attempted to assassinate me last week, and may still be trying to do so).
I can’t think of any other reason for keeping this information from me. As I have speculated in a previous blog post, I would be willing to bet that it is solely due to their fear of being sued.
Here are my current beliefs on the matter: The previous CIA team told to come out here and investigate the matter accomplished NOTHING. Whether or not they were working together with the FBI I do not know, but I would guess that they were not. Yet, another unanswered question, since the work of the FBI does specifically entail investigating and prosecuting the Mafia. Never mind all the attempts I myself have made to contact the San Francisco FBI office with no success. I believe this specially appointed team was fired last week because they managed to make the situation worse than it was before they came, in addition to failing miserably at resolving the problem(s). Never mind the use of the Twitter/internet feed that for some insane reason people rely on as a credible source of information (which has also been withheld from me).
Oh yea, supporting the publication of my manuscript financially (i.e. my previous Pubslush campaigns) is perfectly fine, although those campaigns have since ended. I have no idea what other people have been lead to believe, but no harm will come to me or anyone else by contributing to me financially or in other ways (I also have digital photography for sale on my FineArtAmerica profile). The same holds true for the media (newspaper, magazine, TV, etc…). There is absolutely no reason not to promote this story publicly on television or online. Like I said, I don’t know what other people have been led to believe, but I can assure you, it isn’t true. I am still looking for a national media outlet (CNN, 60 Minutes, 20/20) to give me an interview. This story has been suppressed long enough.
Perhaps the Senate Intelligence Committee sent a few people out here to investigate the CIA? It’s possible, although I still have not been contacted by anyone regarding Loach, and at this point I’m guessing no one ever will. The biggest cause of this problem, the person (and group of people) who prompted the cities of Gilroy and Morgan Hill, as well as every major retailer in the San Jose area to file suit (Loach), is still here. Is is really that difficult to figure out what to do with him? Are so many people that cowardly and incompetent that they still can’t bring themselves to share his information with me or include me? This would seem to be the case, and it is truly a sad state of affairs when the one thing the U.S. government fears most is a mere lawsuit.
I pose the following questions to my readers:
– who is Loach? what is his real name? does he have a mailing address?
– why am I still being kept out of the proceedings? (assuming there are still people actively working on this)
– who was in charge of this investigation/trial initially? names and phone numbers please
– who is currently in charge of this investigation/trial? names and phone numbers please
Trust me, providing me with this information is not illegal and you will not be breaking any laws. They can’t sue you for providing me with this information because they have no grounds for a lawsuit. The only person who has grounds to sue is ME. I can be contacted by email at email@example.com or by cell (408) 823-7774 (I only have one phone number).
The Subject of Female Disempowerment
I watched the movie “Changeling” starring Angelina Jolie a few years ago, and the movie’s theme of female disempowerment is strikingly similar to my own experience. “Changeling” is a 2008 drama film based partly on real-life events that took place in California during the late 1920s. The events I find most similar to my own experience are those experienced by Christine Collins (portrayed in the movie by Angelina Jolie). In Los Angeles 1928, single mother Christine Collins returns home to find her nine-year-old son, Walter, missing. In an attempt to counter the negative publicity surrounding the Los Angeles Police Department at the time, Captain J.J. Jones, the head of LAPD’s Juvenile Division, brings Christine a different boy whom he insists is her own son, Walter.
Christine challenges Captain Jones with the physical differences between her son and the impostor, and obtains signed statements from her son’s teacher and dentist, both of which state the new child is not her son. In response, Jones has a medical doctor visit Christine to explain away the physical discrepancies with lies. A newspaper prints a story that implies Christine is an unfit mother. Christine then tells her story to the press; as a result, Jones sends her to Los Angeles County Hospital’s “psychopathic ward.” While hospitalized, Christine is deemed delusional by her doctor and forcibly medicated with mood-regulating pills. Christine also meets another female patient who tells her she is one of several women sent to the Los Angeles County psychiatric ward for challenging police authority, including domestic violence. After Christine was released from the hospital, she sued the LAPD twice, winning the second lawsuit. The California State Legislature later made it illegal for the police to commit someone to a psychiatric facility without a warrant, although currently California law states three (3) specific criteria, at least one of which has to be met for involuntary hospitalization.
In my experience, the evidence for my false diagnosis isn’t as tangible as the physical differences between one child and another. However, the methods are the same. Every attempt I have made at challenging the schizophrenia diagnosis has been met with lies. In exactly the same way Christine Collins was deemed delusional, I was also deemed delusional. Over the past twelve years, I have been hospitalized in psychiatric wards three different times for an illness I never had. I have been treated by a variety of psychiatrists and therapists for an illness I didn’t have, and for the past twelve years, I have taken a vast array of anti-psychotic medications for an illness I never had.
I even experienced the same treatment by the police, only I was illegally hospitalized by the Sunnyvale Police Department, rather than the Los Angeles Police Department. What striking similarities! The Wikipedia article states the following about Christine Collins’ experience in the late 1920’s:
“As women ceased to be second-class citizens and began to assert their independence, the male establishment used mental institutions in an effort to disempower them; in common with other “unmanageable” women, Collins is subjected to medical treatment designed to break her spirit and compel obedience.”
Even today, over eighty-five years later, strong, independent women are seen as a threat to the patriarchy.
Click on the link above to view the video on YouTube. The transcript is below.
With this initial video podcast, I will briefly explain from my perspective, the reality as I see it. In an attempt to dispel the lies, gossip, rumors, or whatever other misinformation may be out there, I will share my own experience.
As I am currently revising my memoir manuscript and getting it ready for publication, I will not go into great detail here. This is the purpose of my memoir, titled “Never Give Up: Buddhism, Family and Schizophrenia.” My experience with the mafia and the other stalkers began in 2002. I have described the beginnings when I lived in Southern California from 2001 until March 2002 in my Kindle ebook, “The Voices Never Stopped.” This is available on Amazon for $1.99. This ebook ends when I leave for Northern California in March/April of 2002, and the remainder of my experience (up until the present) is described in my memoir. I am hoping to publish my memoir later this year.
In “The Voices Never Stopped,” I describe the appearance of the mafia in my life, as well as my roommates and coworkers who start to stalk and harass me – including the exact point in time I started to hear their voices in my head. There was never a time when I did not know who the voices belonged to. When I moved back in with my parents in the San Francisco Bay Area, I saw several different psychiatrists, all of whom diagnosed me with schizophrenia. Although I knew who the people were that stalked and harassed me continuously, they hid from me on purpose, and never made any attempt at communication (phone calls, emails, letters, in person…). For this reason, I was never able to prove to anyone, psychiatrist or family member, that the voices I heard in my head, and the people who were stalking me were real. I assumed that the mafia and my former roommate and her boyfriend did this intentionally.
This continued for several years, until around 2010 when the mafia, along with my former roommate and her boyfriend, started shouting verbal threats directed at myself, my husband and my immediate family. These threats were death threats, bomb threats, and intimidation. Since that time, the spring and fall of 2010, I made numerous attempts to contact a variety of law enforcement agencies, with absolutely no response whatsoever, even to this day.
In the spring of 2010, I started with the Sunnyvale Police Department, describing the situation in general with the mafia and the death threats – nothing. Next I emailed and called the San Francisco FBI office, giving them the same information – I received no response other than that they did not deal with issues involving “harassment.” In 2011, I presumed that finally, some type of law enforcement agency or government office had become involved, although I was never contacted in any way.
Over the next few years, in 2012 and 2013, I contacted the CIA as well as the White House, again explaining the situation and its lack of resolution. I received no reply. The mafia and a few others were (and still are) stalking and harassing me constantly. At some point during this time, I concluded that whoever was conducting this investigation (perhaps a specially appointed Congressional committee or maybe the CIA) had directed my husband and my family, as well as the general public (including all media outlets) to maintain the notion that there really are no people stalking me, screaming at me in public places and following me around everywhere I go. Everyone is to maintain that I really do have schizophrenia and that my experiences are merely symptoms of this mental illness.
Initially I believed that this sort of cover-up was necessary for my own protection and for my family’s protection. I no longer believe this, and I am firmly convinced that the continued perpetration of this disastrous lie is solely due to an abhorrent, cowardly fear of a lawsuit that I would certainly have substantial grounds to file if I had the information about who is involved in this absurdly preposterous attempt at a cover-up.
The reason I say “attempt” at a cover-up is because many, many thousands of people, particularly in the San Francisco Bay Area are aware of what is going on, and of the fact that there is such an incredibly, miserable attempt at a cover-up going on. Trust me – no one is fooled by my fake schizophrenia diagnosis – least of all me. And of course, it’s impossible to cover-up something everyone already knows.
Wednesday, February 19th my husband picked me up from Fremont Hospital. I spent one week in the mental health/psychiatric ward at Fremont Hospital after an incredibly traumatic experience with the Sunnyvale Police Department, followed by a subsequent overnight stay/hospitalization at Santa Clara County’s Valley Medical Emergency Psychiatric Services center. As soon as I arrived at Fremont Hospital, I started to write down my unbelievable experience that began one week prior, on Wednesday, February 12th in Sunnyvale, California.
On that Wednesday afternoon I left my house with my dog Savannah sitting next to me in the passenger seat of my Toyota. I had been growing increasingly frustrated with whoever was in charge of the Mafia investigation, in addition to the complete lack of resolution of the problem. Two days earlier, on Monday, I decided to take action myself. I wasn’t convinced anything or anyone else would be able to resolve the situation [of the Mafia following me around and the screaming and yelling].
In fact, I was never convinced that keeping this issue with the Mafia under the pretense of a schizophrenia diagnosis was the best way to handle it. I now believe that it was the worst possible way to deal with an extremely difficult and challenging situation. If I was involved with this investigation/trial/lawsuit (whatever), there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever that the whole issue (which started 12 years ago) would have been resolved much more efficiently and much more quickly, saving years of time, and who knows how many millions of dollars.
I never understood why I wasn’t included in this Mafia business, especially when the entire disastrous mess revolves around me. There just wasn’t anything I could do to include myself, other than write about the problem from my own perspective.