Zanzibar

I’m Happy I’m Not A Junkie

A few years ago I became very thankful that I never developed a substance abuse problem. Most, if not all of the people involved in this nightmarish set of circumstances over the years have severe substance abuse problems. After decades of substance abuse, their behavior and thinking is bizarre, disconnected and distorted beyond belief.

I made the conscious decision to avoid substance abuse and addiction. All of their substance abuse problems arise from cocaine, speed, meth, heroin, and prescription pain medications. All of these I have managed to avoid over the years which one exception I experimented with briefly and discarded almost immediately – cocaine. Addiction implies a loss of control and I never wanted to take the risk associated with addiction and illicit narcotics. I stuck with marijuana and LSD with the Grateful Dead and that was about it.

I never wanted to smoke marijuana these past fifteen years because it exacerbated the paranoia and I figured I need all my mental faculties intact. So I really did not start smoking weed until last August when my ex left and everyone else arrived at the house next door. Needless to say, after ten months of listening to absolute madness from the people next door, I am even more appreciative of the fact that I do not have a substance abuse problem.

Courage

 

Courage, strength and wisdom well up in those who consciously take on everything as the protagonist and person responsible for achieving their goals. Unlimited wisdom and ardent resolve arise from a sense of responsibility.

Words of Wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda

My 2014 Lawsuit

Here’s what happened this morning. Yesterday I figured I still have at least one more topic to write about in terms of exposing the effect my family’s behavior has had on my own life. The financial aspect. Rather than sitting around moping, feeling as if I am being starved out of house and home. I am going to include this aspect of their behavior (or the effect it has had on my life over the past 15 years). I found the lawsuit I had typed up a couple of years ago when I held the CIA responsible for the entire situation. I emailed all 10 or 11 documents to both parents and both siblings for their review and then told them I had changed the defendant from the CIA to the Myers’ Family. When I had originally emailed the lawsuit files to them in 2014, not one of the four of them wrote back to me or responded to me in any way. I labeled this morning’s email “For your review.” I am going to assume they don’t care.

Next, I briefly added two major effects this entire nightmarish situation has had on my own life since 2000. The psychiatric/psychological/emotional and the financial. Needless to say I was brief. I’m tired of typing and I don’t really want to spend too much time or detail in an email or blog post. In summary, this is the rest of what I told the Myers’ Family in this morning’s email:

Here is what will or should be included in terms of the effects your actions and behavior had on my own life over the past 15-20 years:

1) psychiatric issues – being treated for an illness I didn’t have:

 

– medications (antipsychotics), dr appointments, 5 hospitalizations, therapy for an illness I didn’t have

 

– $$$ spent on the above, psychological torment from constant persecution, harassment, stalking, and verbal abuse over the years

 

– J Myers withheld potentially lifesaving information (evidence of serious injury) regarding my MRI from Mass General Hospital in 2000 and the scar on my brain.

 

2) loss of earned income or earning potential due to the surrounding issues

– my memoir (s) & publicity

– movie contract

 

What concerns me at this point (aside from the ongoing psychological harassment) is that fact that you continue to argue about what I may or may not write about in my memoirs, in addition to the constant arguing and fighting over a movie contract I have yet to sign based on my memoir that I self-published in 2014. 

 

None of the four of you have the right to determine what I may or may not write about or publish. Nor do any of the four of you have the write to determine the specific details of any movie contract I might sign now, or at any time in the future. You are hereby stripped of these rights.

 

None of the four of you have the right to determine or interfere in my personal life (i.e. argue about or determine who I may or may not marry). In other words, I publicly DISOWNED you as a family in the traditional sense. DO NOT refer to me as “daughter” or “sister.” 

 

If you have objections to any action I take now or in the future, you MUST use the legal means to do so. 

 

Please stay out of my life and leave me alone. As long as you continue to remain in my life, causing me problems, I will continue to publicly expose your hypocrisy and lies using Twitter, Facebook and my own website.

His Own Little Universe (updated)

The thing about Jeff is that he sees the world only from his perspective and no one else’s. He’s extremely self-centered and as far as I can tell, cares for no one or nothing but himself. The things that he has been saying make sense to no one but himself, and for some reason, he either doesn’t care or doesn’t really understand. I looked up the side effects of speed addiction (long-term mostly as the side effects would be increasing in severity over the years) and they include paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. J Myers’ decades-long speed addiction is a major contributor to his irrational and illogical thought processes.

His continued insistence and repetition of claims that I am a prostitute are an example of something J Myers either 1) really believes or 2) wishes everyone else would believe, or both. It’s difficult to tell. I wonder if his speed addiction caused this type of persistent delusion, or whether he’s really just a piece of shit. It’s difficult to tell.

I think in J Myers’ case, we should not separate one from the other. This link to the psychiatric definition of Antisocial Personality Disorder seems more appropriate for both W Myers and J Myers since the terms psychopath/sociopath are not used in psychiatry.

It’s true, being physically beaten (i.e. in childhood) damages the part of the brain responsible for moral decision-making – the prefrontal cortex. The following excerpt is from Wikipedia:

Researchers have linked physical head injuries with antisocial behavior.[36][37][38] Since the 1980s, scientists have associated traumatic brain injury, including damage to the prefrontal cortex, with an inability to make morally and socially acceptable decisions.[36][38] Children with early damage in the prefrontal cortex may never fully develop social or moral reasoning and become “psychopathic individuals … characterized by high levels of aggression and antisocial behavior performed without guilt or empathy for their victims.”

However, my belief is that in J Myers case, his three decades-long speed addiction was responsible for any damage that may have occurred to his prefrontal cortex. I do not know whether there was any physical abuse/trauma that might have caused damage to the brain. The reason I think the damage is from his speed addiction is due to the fact that he dissolves his speed pills in water, soaks either tissue or cotton with the solution, and then shoves the tissue/cotton as far up into his sinus cavity (via his nasal passage) as possible. Since the prefrontal cortex is behind the forehead where some of the sinus cavities are also located, it stands to reason that J Myers’ speed addiction damaged this part of his brain, and the behavior exhibited by those with Antisocial Personality Disorder matches J Myers’ behavior almost exactly.