Courage

 

Courage, strength and wisdom well up in those who consciously take on everything as the protagonist and person responsible for achieving their goals. Unlimited wisdom and ardent resolve arise from a sense of responsibility.

Words of Wisdom by Daisaku Ikeda

My 2014 Lawsuit

Here’s what happened this morning. Yesterday I figured I still have at least one more topic to write about in terms of exposing the effect my family’s behavior has had on my own life. The financial aspect. Rather than sitting around moping, feeling as if I am being starved out of house and home. I am going to include this aspect of their behavior (or the effect it has had on my life over the past 15 years). I found the lawsuit I had typed up a couple of years ago when I held the CIA responsible for the entire situation. I emailed all 10 or 11 documents to both parents and both siblings for their review and then told them I had changed the defendant from the CIA to the Myers’ Family. When I had originally emailed the lawsuit files to them in 2014, not one of the four of them wrote back to me or responded to me in any way. I labeled this morning’s email “For your review.” I am going to assume they don’t care.

Next, I briefly added two major effects this entire nightmarish situation has had on my own life since 2000. The psychiatric/psychological/emotional and the financial. Needless to say I was brief. I’m tired of typing and I don’t really want to spend too much time or detail in an email or blog post. In summary, this is the rest of what I told the Myers’ Family in this morning’s email:

Here is what will or should be included in terms of the effects your actions and behavior had on my own life over the past 15-20 years:

1) psychiatric issues – being treated for an illness I didn’t have:

 

– medications (antipsychotics), dr appointments, 5 hospitalizations, therapy for an illness I didn’t have

 

– $$$ spent on the above, psychological torment from constant persecution, harassment, stalking, and verbal abuse over the years

 

– J Myers withheld potentially lifesaving information (evidence of serious injury) regarding my MRI from Mass General Hospital in 2000 and the scar on my brain.

 

2) loss of earned income or earning potential due to the surrounding issues

– my memoir (s) & publicity

– movie contract

 

What concerns me at this point (aside from the ongoing psychological harassment) is that fact that you continue to argue about what I may or may not write about in my memoirs, in addition to the constant arguing and fighting over a movie contract I have yet to sign based on my memoir that I self-published in 2014. 

 

None of the four of you have the right to determine what I may or may not write about or publish. Nor do any of the four of you have the write to determine the specific details of any movie contract I might sign now, or at any time in the future. You are hereby stripped of these rights.

 

None of the four of you have the right to determine or interfere in my personal life (i.e. argue about or determine who I may or may not marry). In other words, I publicly DISOWNED you as a family in the traditional sense. DO NOT refer to me as “daughter” or “sister.” 

 

If you have objections to any action I take now or in the future, you MUST use the legal means to do so. 

 

Please stay out of my life and leave me alone. As long as you continue to remain in my life, causing me problems, I will continue to publicly expose your hypocrisy and lies using Twitter, Facebook and my own website.

His Own Little Universe (updated)

The thing about Jeff is that he sees the world only from his perspective and no one else’s. He’s extremely self-centered and as far as I can tell, cares for no one or nothing but himself. The things that he has been saying make sense to no one but himself, and for some reason, he either doesn’t care or doesn’t really understand. I looked up the side effects of speed addiction (long-term mostly as the side effects would be increasing in severity over the years) and they include paranoia, delusions, and psychosis. J Myers’ decades-long speed addiction is a major contributor to his irrational and illogical thought processes.

His continued insistence and repetition of claims that I am a prostitute are an example of something J Myers either 1) really believes or 2) wishes everyone else would believe, or both. It’s difficult to tell. I wonder if his speed addiction caused this type of persistent delusion, or whether he’s really just a piece of shit. It’s difficult to tell.

I think in J Myers’ case, we should not separate one from the other. This link to the psychiatric definition of Antisocial Personality Disorder seems more appropriate for both W Myers and J Myers since the terms psychopath/sociopath are not used in psychiatry.

It’s true, being physically beaten (i.e. in childhood) damages the part of the brain responsible for moral decision-making – the prefrontal cortex. The following excerpt is from Wikipedia:

Researchers have linked physical head injuries with antisocial behavior.[36][37][38] Since the 1980s, scientists have associated traumatic brain injury, including damage to the prefrontal cortex, with an inability to make morally and socially acceptable decisions.[36][38] Children with early damage in the prefrontal cortex may never fully develop social or moral reasoning and become “psychopathic individuals … characterized by high levels of aggression and antisocial behavior performed without guilt or empathy for their victims.”

However, my belief is that in J Myers case, his three decades-long speed addiction was responsible for any damage that may have occurred to his prefrontal cortex. I do not know whether there was any physical abuse/trauma that might have caused damage to the brain. The reason I think the damage is from his speed addiction is due to the fact that he dissolves his speed pills in water, soaks either tissue or cotton with the solution, and then shoves the tissue/cotton as far up into his sinus cavity (via his nasal passage) as possible. Since the prefrontal cortex is behind the forehead where some of the sinus cavities are also located, it stands to reason that J Myers’ speed addiction damaged this part of his brain, and the behavior exhibited by those with Antisocial Personality Disorder matches J Myers’ behavior almost exactly.

Until They Leave

It’s 7:45am. I woke up to hear J Myers asking (remember all these people are still in the house next door) if there is an address where he can be written in Vietnam where he’s going to stand trial. The only thought I had was who on earth would write to him in Vietnam? My mom? Of course D Hoffman immediately started to chime in with his usually mumbling, mocking and repetition of whatever I might be thinking. I decided that if they are going to continue with their behavior, I will continue writing about their behavior until they leave. The only question is when are they leaving?

responsibility, taking responsibility, blame, buddhism, happiness, behavior

J Myers and D Hoffman both refuse to turn the volume down on their headsets. I think what happened last night is they either threatened to muzzle them or else actually did muzzle them (at least Jeff anyway) for a period of time. I figure they might have taken the things around their necks off to go to sleep last night. My next thought was “muzzle them!” Apparently it was determined the only way to silence them was to treat them like the animals they really are. The truth is, animals behave better than these people. They can hardly be called human.

Then what happens is one of the federal agents has to take them aside like a small child and ask them yet again why they are repeating the same behavior. At this point, J Myers will start arguing. D Hoffman will try to weasel his way out of it, typically by lying.

So, J Myers as approached D Hoffman again after being lectured to (presumably). Usually he will just negotiate something similar and the same thing starts all over again. D Hoffman is still babbling into his headset waiting to hear from J Myers.

 

Examples of Their Behavior

I came home from walking Savannah this afternoon and D Hoffman started up again with his mumbling in my ear. Of course this has (almost) always been at the behest of Jeff Myers. Both of them refuse to stop this behavior. Here’s an example of what they do for the better part of every day. J Myers negotiates some sort of “agreement” [typically involving payment] with D Hoffman to continue or perhaps restart his “harassment” of me, by turning the volume up on his headset and speaking into it constantly. He has to turn the volume up load enough so that I can hear his voice and so that it bothers me. They check to see if I can hear their voices by reading the tweets/texts from whoever is typing them up next door (they’re all in the same house next door to me). Occasionally if I am watching TV or listening to music, words from the radio or TV will get mixed in with whatever I happen to be thinking about and the conversations of other people in the house. Remember – I am still by myself in my own house. Everyone else is next door.

For example, currently D Hoffman has placed himself in the corner of the room where he thinks is closest to me, or wherever he will be most annoying. Meanwhile, J Myers sits on the other side of the room discussing his actions with some else who is trying to get him to discontinue his behavior. At some point, usually when there is a break in my activity or thought, D Hoffman will stop his mumbling, get up, approach J Myers with a note he has written about whatever the text says I am thinking or doing, and then asks him a question – usually about whether J Myers wants him to continue with the abusive behavior. The pattern repeats itself. J Myers and D Hoffman negotiate something similar, D Hoffman finds out where I am in my house, walks closest in their house to where they think I am (for example, if I am in the back of my house and walk to the front of my house, they will also walk from the back of their house to the front of their house) and starts speaking into his headset again. The problem is they repeat this behavior continuously throughout the entire course of the day and into the night for no discernible reason.

What I did a few minutes ago was wake up from a nap with the TV on. I heard D Hoffman’s voice start mumbling, he usually tries to repeat whatever he is reading from the texts (i.e. whatever I am supposed to be thinking or doing). I turned to volume up on the TV a little bit so I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice. He stopped talking and I heard a young woman’s voice (speaking into a headset, as I do not hear their natural voices otherwise unless they are a little louder). Her voice was extremely piercing in my ear/brain so I got angry and turned the volume up on the TV again. She continued talking and she has started speaking into her headset again as I write this. Is there some reason they feel the need to repeat what I write? Out loud? In a manner that I can hear?

Whoever this second woman was has chosen to ignore me. She has stopped talking for the time being or has reduced the volume of the headset or lower the pitch. Either way, they continue with their psychological torment, verbal abuse and verbal harassment.

The loudest I had the TV volume at (this is a standard Sony 32″ or 34″) was 92 to drown out their voices enough so that I could barely hear what they were saying in comparison to the TV.