I read a little more this afternoon and then chanted for about half an hour. I heard a few more voices that sounded like people talking. Someone said, You’re the one that’s deluded! I thought about that while I was chanting, but I think my perception is pretty clear. I tend to view my experiences from a Buddhist perspective, using different concepts that I’ve learned over the years. I know it’s only one way of looking at life, but in my opinion, it’s probably the most positive. I found another quote that I often read for encouragement. It states: As long as one perseveres with strong faith, times of the greatest difficulty will become times of the greatest opportunity. A person of strong faith is able to “change poison into medicine,” thereby accumulating limitless good fortune. For this reason, no matter what may happen, we have nothing to fear. In difficult times, all we need to do is summon forth still stronger faith.
In Buddhism, “changing poison into medicine” means using a negative or difficult experience to create value rather than being defeated by it. I could easily become angry or depressed by my illness and circumstances, but instead, I hope to create value. Especially by telling my story in the form of a book, and also with my blog. When I was still chanting, someone else said, I wonder how long it will last this time? Another voice responded, I don’t know, she seems pretty determined. I figured they were talking about my decision to start writing a book. I’ve started a few other writing projects in the past that I have yet to finish: a children’s story, a news article on Haiti. I don’t like the idea of leaving projects unfinished, but I think I need to make time for everything.
My biggest challenge is not allowing myself to be swayed by the negativity of my voices. It takes effort, but that’s what I have my Buddhist practice for, and of course my husband’s constant support and encouragement.