My husband and I spent the weekend at his parents house in Gilroy. We brought some boxes down on Friday night, and on Saturday, John took his dad back to Sunnyvale to get some more things. We’ve moved a lot of our stuff, but we still have the heavy furniture and our clothes. I’m going to start packing our clothes this afternoon. I’ve really been focusing on ignoring the voices, and not letting them affect me. I told John last night that I heard them say something to me during dinner. We had finished eating, and were still sitting around the table at his parents’ house. Someone said, We’re not going to let you take advantage of your relatives! At first, I was kind of mad. I don’t think we’re taking advantage of Raul’s family, or my family either. It was just another way for the voices to try and stop me from doing what my husband and want to do. Then, this morning, they told me to only chant an hour a day. If I agreed to only chant an hour a day, then they said they would leave my cousin (meaning my niece that they refer to as my cousin) out of it. I continued chanting, but didn’t agree to anything. My voices frequently try to get me to make an agreement with them. A couple of times I have, but I’ve found that nothing changes. I’ve decided not to do that anymore.
I talked to my mom and dad yesterday, and my dad told me about an encouraging article in the New York Times. I looked it up, and it was an interesting article about a study researchers are doing on people who are functioning well with a mental illness. The title of the article is “Lives Restored: A High-Profile Executive Job as Defense Against Mental Ills”, and the link is http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/health/23lives.html?ref=health. There is also another link on that same page to an article about Elyn Saks, a law professor suffering from schizophrenia who wrote a memoir a few years ago about her life. I just ordered the book, it’s called The Center Cannot Hold. It’s very encouraging to read about other people who are also affected by mental illness, and to know that mental illness can be controlled and managed successfully. I hope that I can also function successfully in society by managing my illness and my voices.