I also woke up to several voices who said they were angry because of the book I’m writing, and because of my Buddhist practice. They don’t think I should write a book about my life because of how it might affect the other people who were involved. They also don’t think I should make money off of my book. They are still telling me that I’m not allowed to earn any income, regardless of where it comes from. They said the reason why I’m not allowed to earn any income is because in 2002 when I moved back in with my parents, Jerry Seinfeld filed a restraining order or some type of “contract” on my behalf. Jerry Seinfeld alledgedly did this in an attempt to protect me from the people who were following me around. The people who were following me around did not abide by the contract, and were subsequently fined as a result. To make up for their loss of income, they now claim that I should not be allowed to earn any income.
Then the voices said that they were disgusted by my book, and my Buddhist practice. I started thinking again about whether or not it’s a good idea to write my book. A few of the voices said they know John’s parents and his brother because they are their neighbors. I thought about making an agreement with the Mafia, and eventually got out of bed at 10am. I chanted for an hour, but I didn’t make an agreement with them. I’ve pretty much decided never to do that again. I felt overwhelmed when I finished chanting this morning, like I was in a state of mild shock. I ate breakfast, put some laundry in, and told John about what I heard. Then I posted this blog.
I found a good quote this morning when I was looking for encouragement. It reads, Justice or happiness without a battle is just an illusion. Thinking that happiness means a life free of hard work and effort is fantasy. I believe that I’m fighting for my own happiness and my husband’s happiness. Part of my battle is fought with prayer. The rest is up to me.