I’ve had a bad headache since Sunday. I keep taking Advil, but it doesn’t help. This morning I sent my doctor an email to see what she recommends. I am hoping that these periodic headaches don’t worsen and become full-blown migraines. My dad suffers from migraines, but I never have. When I get headaches like this, everything becomes harder to deal with. I feel pressure on my eyes that makes me want to close them, but if I take a nap, I don’t feel any better. Headaches like this also make it more difficult to ignore the voices. Occasionally I will feel sick to my stomach. The voices will affect me more, like an incredibly toxic disease. I find them repulsive and disgusting anyway, but when I don’t feel physically well, it makes them seem that much worse.
I’ve often viewed the yelling, harassing voices as a highly contagious, extremely toxic disease that is capable of contaminating others. They’ve often disgusted me so much, that I’ve been at a loss for words. I’ve thought of them as leeches because they sapped my energy so much in the past, and because they stick to my life so tightly and are so unwilling to leave me alone. I’ve also compared them to vampires because of their ability to drain me of energy and hope. I used to worry that their sickening diseased voices would infect other people, and I felt responsible. They are like a cancer. Fortunately, I have John. I have my Buddhist practice, and I have my family to help me fight back. I will never stop fighting their wretched misery. I will win.