John and I returned from Fort Collins on Wednesday, and today he went back to work. We’ve been going back and forth quite a bit, trying to decide if we want to buy a house or condo in South San Jose, or stick with the a manufactured house we like in Sunnyvale. It’s a tough decision for us, but I think we’ll be better off in Sunnyvale.
I’m still working on improving my communication and social skills. I met with my therapist last Thursday, and we talked about the difficulties I’ve had communicating with John. I explained to her that if John says something that makes me angry or frustrated, I often shut down, rather than telling him what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling at that particular moment. When I shut down and stop talking, John often doesn’t know why, or he thinks I’m hearing voices. My therapist said that I need to be more assertive, and work on verbalizing my thoughts.
My illness and the voices have put a big strain on our marriage. My schizoaffective disorder has affected us both emotionally, psychologically, and financially. We are both committed to our marriage, and we really want to be happy together. This year, I am going to focus on earning a stable income with my writing, as well as my mental health. I am managing my illness, and am able to ignore any voices that I do hear. We’re looking forward to the new year!