Yesterday I decided to install a new theme for this website. I was having trouble with fonts and switched to a new theme so I could write blog posts with more creative and artistic font styles. In the midst of trying to change background colors, header images and heading styles, I discovered that exactly six years ago yesterday, on August 25th 2011, I wrote my fist blog post for my SundanceKid Online website, titled Up and Running.
The blog post states in part:
I am hoping that by sharing my experiences, thoughts, and feelings about mental illness and schizoaffective disorder, I can reach others who may be experiencing something similar.
This was six years ago and I’ve since changed “schizoaffective disorder” to “schizophrenia.” The “schizoaffective disorder” diagnosis includes both auditory hallucinations and depression (or mania, but not in my case), and although I knew the auditory hallucinations or “voices” I heard in my head were real people, the depression was the only real diagnosis a psychiatrist might have given me.
The person known as “shithead” (S. McKellar) entered my life a little over fifteen years ago during the spring of 2002 – my last night at the house in Oxnard. Unfortunately he has not left yet. The past fifteen years have been absolutely nothing but vicious, targeted psychological persecution and torment, carried out primarily by the people with whom I was most closely associated with during the past 47 years of my life. I refuse to refer to them as people, and instead I have reached the conclusion that whoever they are, whoever they have become, is a manifestation of an extremely insidious and diabolical evil.
A huge part of the problem was the fact that the majority of the perpetrators indicted as part of both a federal and an international investigation in the U.S. were white males. They were responsible for nearly destroying life on Earth as well as the victimization, abuse, murder and torture of everyone who does not look like them: women, women of color, and people of color were all victimized and subjected to their injustice.
For years I said to myself, “This isn’t justice. Whatever this is, this isn’t justice.” We needed justice, but we also needed the truth. If we understand the truth of the matter about everything that happened, then moving forward we need to imagine what true justice looks like for ourselves, for our society and for life on Earth. Imagine justice.