John and I had a nice weekend. We drove to Los Angeles to visit his brother for 5 days. Mostly we relaxed and visited. We also celebrated his brother’s 50th birthday too! I did very well over the weekend. I was proud of myself. We had a small dinner party on Sunday for George’s 50th birthday, and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking to the other guests! I didn’t withdraw and sit silently in a corner, or retreat to my room. It was fun! John said he was proud of me too, in terms of working on my social skills.
I told my new therapist about our trip at my appointment on Wednesday. We talked about a variety of issues, and discussed different ways that I can be more active and more social with other people. I told her that I had taken Savannah to the dog park before and talked with a few people there. I also told my therapist that Savannah is more sociable than I am! She thought that was funny. Savannah is a very friendly puppy!
We also talked a little about when the voices started threatening me and my family. At first they only threatened me. Once, they told me they had put a bomb under my car. We were at our old apartment complex at the time, and I looked out the window into the parking lot but didn’t see anyone. I only heard silence. Eventually they stopped threatening me and started threatening my dad, my brothers, my niece (whom they called my “cousin”), and lastly John. She asked me if I still felt threatened and afraid and I said that I am no longer afraid of the voices, and of the things that they’ve said in the past. I’ve moved beyond that, and I continue moving forward in my life, not backward.