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Social Anxiety and Fear of the Voices

John and I had a nice weekend. We drove to Los Angeles to visit his brother for 5 days. Mostly we relaxed and visited. We also celebrated his brother’s 50th birthday too! I did very well over the weekend. I was proud of myself. We had a small dinner party on Sunday for George’s 50th birthday, and I actually spent quite a bit of time talking to the other guests! I didn’t withdraw and sit silently in a corner, or retreat to my room. It was fun! John said he was proud of me too, in terms of working on my social skills.

I told my new therapist about our trip at my appointment on Wednesday. We talked about a variety of issues, and discussed different ways that I can be more active and more social with other people. I told her that I had taken Savannah to the dog park before and talked with a few people there. I also told my therapist that Savannah is more sociable than I am! She thought that was funny. Savannah is a very friendly puppy!

We also talked a little about when the voices started threatening me and my family. At first they only threatened me. Once, they told me they had put a bomb under my car. We were at our old apartment complex at the time, and I looked out the window into the parking lot but didn’t see anyone. I only heard silence. Eventually they stopped threatening me and started threatening my dad, my brothers, my niece (whom they called my “cousin”), and lastly John. She asked me if I still felt threatened and afraid and I said that I am no longer afraid of the voices, and of the things that they’ve said in the past. I’ve moved beyond that, and I continue moving forward in my life, not backward.

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2 Comments on "Social Anxiety and Fear of the Voices"

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Good for you Jen. I still have trouble socializing in groups. I just don’t do it, but I have made a friend this year who I see once a week or so. I also have my brother and one other friend. Through facebook I’ve connected with a couple of very old friends and that too has opened up my world. So glad that you are no longer afraid of the voices. I’m not either, but I do pay attention to them when they get negative or manipulative, it usually means that there’s something I still need to learn. I see… Read more »
Jen
Hi Kate, I think for me it feels a little uncomfortable and awkward sharing my illness with others. Even family members. I always think that other people will think I’m strange or have no idea what I’m talking about if I bring up schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. Maybe it’s because I’ve never shared that much about my experiences. Also, I think that there is so little understanding of these types of illnesses, that for some people it’s scary. It’s something I need to continue working on. I think that the more I share with other people, the better understanding they… Read more »
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