There is a big difference between taking responsibility for your own life – your own decisions, choices, circumstances, and happiness – and accepting someone else’s blame for the miserable circumstances they have found themselves in. It took me a long time to realize this, especially considering the fact that the people who were always blaming me for their miserable lives were people I didn’t know and had never met. Nor did they know me.
The people (and there were many) who stalked and harassed me on a daily basis somehow concluded that I was to blame for their predicament – they were all victims of an injustice that I caused, as if I was somehow responsible for their wretched behavior. Yet they had no idea who I was. They still have no idea who I am. As often as I wondered how on earth so many people could behave so horribly, I never really figured out the answer. I know drug addiction played a large part, along with a complete lack of integrity and human decency. Deception and lies were also key components that motivated their behavior. These people manufactured lies (and evidence to go along with it) about me, lies about my husband, my family, my friends, and I’m sure there were even lies about my dog. Honesty completely disappeared from the picture.
I finally realized that their behavior has NOTHING to do with me. From a Buddhist perspective, the fact that they made me their target is purely karma. Their behavior stems only from their own lives and their own unhappiness. My willingness to accept their blame only resulted in MY unhappiness.
It’s easy to feel sorry for people who have problems and are suffering, yet it does nothing to help the people or resolve the situation. Especially when there is an addiction problem. Rarely, during the past 13 plus years this has been going on have I felt sorry for myself. Instead, I have used my Buddhist practice to look for happiness within.