Savannah is almost completely housetrained! She’s doing very well this week. I’m really glad we have her. She requires a lot of attention, but she’s worth it! She’s also great to have around because I can talk to her any time I need to distract myself from the occasional destructive or negative thought running through my head.
I continue to work on my memoir, although not quite as much as I would like. I spend quite a bit of time trying to remember what happened in the past and what I was thinking about. Mostly I’ve been remembering a lot of psychosis and crazy thoughts. I’ve also found old journal entries that help me remember what was going on in my mind at different times over the past five or ten years. A lot of craziness. I feel like things are finally beginning to settle down for me, both in my mind, and in my life. I’m still chanting daily, and I found a quote to share from my Daily Encouragement dated March 27th.
While controlling your mind, which is at once both extremely subtle and solemnly profound, you should strive to elevate your faith with freshness and vigor. When you do so, both your life and your surroundings will open wide before you and every action you take will become a source of benefit. Understanding the subtle workings of one’s mind is the key to faith and attaining Buddhahood in this lifetime.
I’ve often struggled with controlling my mind and my thoughts. It’s so easy for me to slip into a pattern of complaint and negative thinking. I need to constantly monitor my own thoughts. I know it’s possible to train my mind to think more positively, especially about other people. Spending so much of my time fighting against the negative, insulting, harassing, and destructive voices in my head was not easy. I will never forget what I dealt with, even if it was only in my head, and I am eternally grateful for the support I’ve had (and still have) in managing my illness.