I’ve been doing pretty well lately. Especially yesterday. Yesterday morning I chanted for an hour and a half instead of my usual hour. It was amazing the difference a half hour made in my day yesterday. I felt better, I worried less, I talked a little more with my friends and was more social! So today I decided to do it again! I know that chanting is good for me, and I know that the more I chant, the better. Actually sitting down at my altar and staying there for an extra 30 minutes is sometimes easier said than done. It really did make a big difference!
I still remember a strange dream I had last winter when John & I were living with his parents in Gilroy. When I woke up one morning, I told John about my dream. John & I were riding our bikes through a crowd of people and somehow I lost him. I was looking for John, but ended up on foot walking together with a crowd of people who were all walking in the same direction. I turned to look at the woman next to me, and she was silent. Everyone walking together was silent, no one said anything. Then I understood that the people walking together in my dream belonged to a community trying to get rid of the mafia, only it was an unspoken understanding. No one was allowed to say anything to me, or to each other. I never found John, but I met a young boy away from the crowd and tried to give him a hamster. I became angry with him, and grabbed a piece of wood to swing at him. Instead of hitting him with the piece of wood, I told him to chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. He gave me a hamster, and my dream ended with me holding two soft, squishy hamsters in my hands.
I’ve never tried to analyze my dreams before, mostly because they’ve never had much meaning for me. This dream is one of the few dreams I’ve had that has ever remotely resembled something that was happening in my own life. This dream reflected how I felt at the time, it was something I often wished would happen. I believed that the mafia were living in my neighborhood, and since there was nothing I could do about them, I often hoped that other people would. In this dream, my community was fighting back, even if somewhat silently.
Now, of course, I am not sitting around hoping for my neighbors to take action against invisible people for me. Instead, I am chanting more, writing more, and making an effort to be more active during the day, so that my mind is not pre-occupied with people who don’t exist. I still have weird dreams occasionally, but nothing worth noting or remembering. Progress!