We Now Return You to Your Regularly Scheduled Reality

happiness in this world, women, women's empowerment, empowerment, buddhism, nichiren daishonin, happiness

A few weeks ago I received an email from Susan Berk congratulating me on having my experience published in the NAMI Voice Fall 2013 issue. I was surprised but also incredibly overjoyed at discovering my brief essay on the last page of NAMI’s Voice Fall newsletter. Susan Berk’s experience was published in the NAMI Voice Summer issue, and I was inspired to submit my own story after reading about Susan’s. I also posted the same article on this blog on July 10th with the title Building the Silver Lining. To read the NAMI Voice Fall 2013 issue, please click on the link below.


My memoir manuscript is coming along. I’ve sent it out for the first round of editing, and I’m excited to hear back from my editor. I’ve only received positive feedback on my memoir, but it hasn’t yet been reviewed by a professional editor. I so happy to finally be moving forward with my memoir. I realize it still needs quite a bit of work, but I’ve got the essentials down and I think what it really needs is a strong final chapter and clarification in some places. We’ll see what my editor says!

memoir, fear, buddhism, mental health

For the most part, things in my life have been going well. I’ve realized over the past few weeks that I will never experience life in quite the same way again. I’ve changed a lot on my own, but my experiences have also changed me. Sometimes I feel like my life since 2002 has been one of those times when your television show is unexpectedly interrupted by an emergency announcement, a breaking news program, or a presidential address. When the announcement, news program, or address is over a voice comes on and states: “We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.” Except in my case the voice states: “We now return you to your regularly scheduled reality.” I laughed at this thought for a few days because it seemed funny. Now however, I realize nothing could be further from the truth. My life will never return to the way it was before I started hearing voices, even if every single one of the voices goes away forever and never comes back. I don’t even think I want my life to return to “normal.” I’m pretty sure it wasn’t ever normal to begin with. Mostly, I just want to be happy. Who doesn’t? The best thing for me is to continue making progress in my life, to keep writing, to keep strengthening my Buddhist practice and my relationships with others, and most of all, to live without fear. After all, if I hadn’t gone through what I’ve been through over the past ten years, I would still be a shy, timid woman with nothing to write about.

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