The voices are becoming less and less of a presence in my life. I rarely hear anything now, and even if I do hear something, I can ignore it completely. I still think it’s remarkable considering my state of mind and my mental health a year ago at this time. What an incredible improvement! I am constantly reminding myself how fortunate I am. I am working on a title for my memoir, as I’ve registered for a writing conference where I’ll have the opportunity to pitch my memoir to agents and editors. I don’t want my schizoaffective disorder to be the sole focus of my title or my book, even though it’s a major part of my experience. I’m trying to think of a title that describes my experience and everything that helped me get through my fear, anger, depression, and hopelessness of the past. I’ve used so many Buddhist quotes to encourage me along the way, and of course countless discussions with therapists, friends and family members as well, not to mention my superb, wonderful husband! Even my puppy Savannah has brought me her own version of happiness to my life.
I’m still working on reaching out to friends and family, as well as our neighbors. I still have to work on my social skills and my ability to communicate. In this area, I need to make constant effort. I still have a lot of mistrust of other people, often for no real reason. I’m working on this too. But, as Nichiren Daishonin says, “winter always turns to spring.” Hards times never last, as long as we continue striving for a better life.
Thanks for reading! Jen